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Positive Traits and Strengths of Male Survivors
Howard Fradkin, Ph.D., Co-Chairperson, MaleSurvivor Weekends of Recovery & Ernesto Mujica, Ph.D., Facilitator, Weekends of Recovery
Much has been written about the painful symptoms and consequences of sexual abuse of boys and men. Here is a list of some of the positive traits and strengths of men as they heal, as we've witnessed through being with the men who attend our Weekends of Recovery:
- An ability to take multiple perspectives on a complex situation.
- A capacity to identify what is unfair or unethical in situations where most other people may be prone to denial.
- Perseverance to succeed despite difficult and opposing circumstances.
- Dedication to protecting the welfare of children, knowing first hand how vulnerable they can be.
- An ability to judge others on the basis of their actions rather than on the basis of more superficial social standards that may include significant social biases, such as race, gender, sexual orientation, social class, economic status or nationality.
- An ability to embrace masculine and feminine aspects of their personalities: ie they can learn it is okay to cry, to be sensitive and powerful
- An ability to bond with other men who have suffered too thus providing significant emotional support
- An ability to witness each other's stories - to really listen, to communicate a deep sense of respect
- An ability to express pain/suffering in non-verbal ways which expands their ability to help others understand
- An ability to hold on to hope and dare to dream they absolutely can recover
- An ability to be vulnerable enough to risk letting other men know they need help and an exquisite ability to provide that help to others in need
- An ability to find the boy inside and risk connecting with him, even for a moment, to enhance the likelihood of deeper recovery
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