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If you are interested in reading other affirming articles or want to learn more about how to use affirmations to improve your self-esteem, relationships and general sense of well-being, please click on Affirmations Archive below.

Affirmations Archive

Pride month is here again, and I hope this year we can all affirm we will celebrate our pride each and every day of the year! As you consider your own LGBT pride, how proud are YOU?

Being proud of ourselves means we are willing to be open about who we are, including our sexual orientation, to the significant people in our life. This openness begins with being open to yourself, and then to others. How much do you accept your sexual orientation and prize it as one of your unique and important gifts to others? How much time do you spend in hiding, or leading a double life? As you consider the important people in your life, how many of them know about you? When you are in a new situation, how often when you think it matters do you let others know about your orientation? This pride month, allow yourself to let at least one more person in your life know about you, and then each month after, continue to take an additional steps until you feel you have surrounded yourself with a chosen family of accepting, affirming people. I know you may feel very afraid to even let one more (or perhaps even one) person know about you, and yet I also know it is just as scary and uncomfortable living in a dark closet or living a double life trying to be someone you are not. I also know as you come out more to yourself and others, the fear will begin to subside as you discover most people today accept us and a large number of people prize us for the many contributions LGBT people make to our society!

Being proud means we are willing to confront those who would spread bigotry and prejudice, and let them know that an LGBT person is here, is visible, and is unwilling to let them spread their hatred anymore. What happens to you when you hear someone tell a gay joke? Do you shrink inside and feel awful? Do you fume inside, and yet feel scared to speak out? Often people spread this bigotry believing that everyone who can hear them would agree with their views. They often believe they are surrounded by like-minded heterosexuals. It is up to us to make ourselves visible, to challenge their distorted beliefs and values, and let them know at least one person who hears them is offended by their language, much as we might be by any other visible sign of bigotry. Some LGBT people believe they need to come out in order to challenge folks, but I've found even a simple comment often stops many bigots in their tracks, such as: "I really find your language offensive" or "I don't think that's at all funny" or "I have friends who are (LGBT) and my experience is very different" or "I'd appreciate it if you didn't use that language around me". Take a basic civil rights approach, and let them know you are opposed to any language or jokes which separate people, and treats them as inherently different than yourself due to race, creed, gender, spiritual beliefs, age or sexual orientation.

When we feel proud, we can take steps to make the world a safer place for any LGBT person. We can lobby political leaders with greater comfort, we can challenge people in any system who spread inaccurate information about us, and we can be role models for younger lgbt people by being visible to them. In graduate school, I had a professor who taught us about behavioral methods to "cure homosexuality". Because I was out, and because I had educated myself about these barbarian, unethical and ineffective techniques, I could effectively challenge him to stop teaching that homosexuality needed to be "cured", and further, that behavioral methods could be much more useful in teaching and facilitating positive mental health with lgbt people. The Stonewall Union speakers bureau is another effective voice in our community that educates companies, schools and government agencies about lgbt people so there can be greater acceptance and tolerance practiced in these settings. What steps might you take to help make this a safer world?

When we feel proud, we can also form healthier intimate relationships and friendships. Our pride helps us to be honest in relationships, and helps us to acknowledge our mistakes and shortcomings easier. When we do have problems, healthy pride allows us to acknowledge these problems and ask for help from our partners, friends, and professionals if needed. Our pride also helps us to more easily give compliments and affirm our partners and friends for their positive qualities, which also strengthens our relationships. False pride on the other hand inhibits healthy relationships building, because it causes us to hide our truths behind illusions and false impressions. How healthy are you in your relationships? What step can you identify you can take to be more honest and more real in your relationship today?

Here's an affirmation for this month and every day of the coming year:
I will enhance my healthy pride today by being honest with myself, with others, and speak my truth with confidence and strength.